Quote:It is necessary to remind ourselves that feelings are programs; that is, they are learned reactions that have a purpose and that purpose is directly related to achieving some end in the form of some effect on another person�s feelings and, by doing so, to manipulate their behavior toward us and fulfill our own inner goals.

Let us look at the common emotional reactions and examine what their real purpose is. None of these to be described have anything to do with love, for love is a state of oneness with another. It is not an emotion that comes and goes. What passes for love in popular understanding is merely attachment, dependency and possessiveness.

As we shall see, all emotions toward others involve the basic belief that we are incomplete within ourselves and, therefore, others are exploited and viewed as means to an end. Although we may not be able to actually use the other person in the way we would like to, the utilization of the other person still occurs on the level of fantasy and expectation. We also discover that much of what we experience in a relationship is happening in our imagination only.
Facilitate Satisfaction

The way to facilitate satisfaction in relationships is to picture lovingly the best possible outcome. Make sure it is mutually beneficial � a win-win situation. Release all negative feelings and merely hold the picture in mind. You can tell if you are really released if it is okay with you if it happens and it is really okay with you if it doesn�t.

Therefore, to be released does not mean to be passive but active in a positive way. When we are released there is no longer the pressure of time. Frustration comes from wanting a thing now instead of letting it happen naturally in its own time. Patience is an automatic side effect of releasing and we know how easy it is to get along with patient people. Also notice that patient people usually get what they want in the end.

The mind has the idea that the way to get a thing is to want it. Actually, if you examine the issue you will see that events are due to decisions and choices based on our intentions. What we get is the result of these choices, even though they are unconscious, rather that what we think we want. When we release the pressure of wantingness, we are clear to make wiser choices and decisions.

We think that our happiness depends on controlling events and that it is facts that upset us. Actually, it is our feelings and thoughts about these facts that are really the cause of the upset. Facts in and of themselves are neutral things. The power we give them is due to our attitude of acceptance or non-acceptance and our overall feeling state. If we get stuck in a feeling, it is because we still secretly believe that it will accomplish something for us.

Releasing will eliminate the obstacles that are in your way, allowing relating to come to you naturally.